Что такое verbal abuse

verbal abuse

1 Verbal Abuse

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Verbal abuse — (also called reviling) is a form of abusive behavior involving the use of language. It is a form of profanity in that it can occur with or without the use of expletives. Whilst oral communication is the most common form of verbal abuse, it… … Wikipedia

verbal abuse — index malediction, obloquy, philippic, revilement Burton s Legal Thesaurus. William C. Burton. 2006 … Law dictionary

Verbal Abuse — Infobox musical artist Name = Verbal Abuse Img capt = Img size = Landscape = Background = group or band Birth name = Alias = Born = Died = Origin = Houston, Texas (earlier) San Francisco, California (now) Instrument = Voice type = Genre =… … Wikipedia

verbal abuse — maltreating someone by speaking to them inappropriately … English contemporary dictionary

verbal abuse — Abusive language … Ballentine’s law dictionary

Verbal abuse (disambiguation) — Verbal abuse may refer to:* Verbal abuse, a form of abusive behavior involving the use of language * Verbal Abuse, a Texas musical group * Verbal Abuse (The Undead album), a 1983 punk album … Wikipedia

Verbal Abuse (The Undead album) — Verbal Abuse is the second release from the Lodi punk band The Undead. Recorded in February 1983, in guitarist/vocalist Bobby Steele s bed room, 2000 copies were released on Post Mortem Records, and five test pressings were made to Bobby. A song… … Wikipedia

abuse — 1 /ə byüz/ vt abused, abus·ing 1: to put to a use other than the one intended: as a: to put to a bad or unfair use abusing the powers of office b: to put to improper or excessive use abuse narcotics … Law dictionary

verbal — verb‧al [ˈvɜːbl ǁ ˈvɜːr ] adjective a verbal contract, agreement etc is one that is spoken rather than written: • The bank manager gave verbal assurances of the security of the investments. * * * verbal UK US /ˈvɜːbəl/ adjective ► spoken rather… … Financial and business terms

abuse — Ⅰ. abuse UK US /əˈbjuːs/ noun ► [C or U] a situation in which a person uses something in a bad or wrong way, especially for their own advantage or pleasure: »The former president has been accused of corruption and abuse of power. »The politician… … Financial and business terms

Abuse — This article is about the mistreatment of people or systems. For other uses, see Abuse (disambiguation). Mistreat redirects here. For other uses, see Mistreat (disambiguation). Contents 1 Types and contexts of abuse 1.1 … Wikipedia

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Verbal Abuse

Смотреть что такое «Verbal Abuse» в других словарях:

Verbal abuse — (also called reviling) is a form of abusive behavior involving the use of language. It is a form of profanity in that it can occur with or without the use of expletives. Whilst oral communication is the most common form of verbal abuse, it… … Wikipedia

verbal abuse — index malediction, obloquy, philippic, revilement Burton s Legal Thesaurus. William C. Burton. 2006 … Law dictionary

Verbal Abuse — Infobox musical artist Name = Verbal Abuse Img capt = Img size = Landscape = Background = group or band Birth name = Alias = Born = Died = Origin = Houston, Texas (earlier) San Francisco, California (now) Instrument = Voice type = Genre =… … Wikipedia

verbal abuse — maltreating someone by speaking to them inappropriately … English contemporary dictionary

verbal abuse — Abusive language … Ballentine’s law dictionary

Verbal abuse (disambiguation) — Verbal abuse may refer to:* Verbal abuse, a form of abusive behavior involving the use of language * Verbal Abuse, a Texas musical group * Verbal Abuse (The Undead album), a 1983 punk album … Wikipedia

Verbal Abuse (The Undead album) — Verbal Abuse is the second release from the Lodi punk band The Undead. Recorded in February 1983, in guitarist/vocalist Bobby Steele s bed room, 2000 copies were released on Post Mortem Records, and five test pressings were made to Bobby. A song… … Wikipedia

abuse — 1 /ə byüz/ vt abused, abus·ing 1: to put to a use other than the one intended: as a: to put to a bad or unfair use abusing the powers of office b: to put to improper or excessive use abuse narcotics … Law dictionary

verbal — verb‧al [ˈvɜːbl ǁ ˈvɜːr ] adjective a verbal contract, agreement etc is one that is spoken rather than written: • The bank manager gave verbal assurances of the security of the investments. * * * verbal UK US /ˈvɜːbəl/ adjective ► spoken rather… … Financial and business terms

abuse — Ⅰ. abuse UK US /əˈbjuːs/ noun ► [C or U] a situation in which a person uses something in a bad or wrong way, especially for their own advantage or pleasure: »The former president has been accused of corruption and abuse of power. »The politician… … Financial and business terms

Abuse — This article is about the mistreatment of people or systems. For other uses, see Abuse (disambiguation). Mistreat redirects here. For other uses, see Mistreat (disambiguation). Contents 1 Types and contexts of abuse 1.1 … Wikipedia

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How to Recognize Verbal Abuse

Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert.

Akeem Marsh, MD, is a board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist who has dedicated his career to working with medically underserved communities.

PeopleImages / Getty Images

Most people assume that if they were being verbally abused they would know about it. After all, verbal abuse often involves yelling, put-downs, name-calling, and belittling behaviors. But there is so much more to verbal abuse than people realize. In fact, some people are verbally abused on a regular basis without even recognizing that it’s happening.

What Is Verbal Abuse?

Because verbal abuse isn’t as clear-cut as other forms of abuse and bullying, like physical bullying and sexual bullying, it can be hard to identify. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

Verbal abuse involves some sort of verbal interaction that causes a person emotional harm, often prompting them to question who they are. It is a way for a person to control and maintain power over another person. In fact, it is not uncommon for a victim of verbal abuse to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless. After all, they are being defined by a verbally abusive person.

If verbal abuse occurs in a dating relationship, it can be particularly confusing because the partner may not be abusive all of the time and their behavior likely emerged slowly over time. Verbal abuse can be insidious and subtle.

As a result, when the abuser is loving and gentle, the victim can forget about the negative behavior. Ultimately, the victim ends up ignoring the pattern of verbal abuse or makes excuses for the behavior, saying that the abuser is just stressed or going through a tough time right now.

Click Play to Learn More About Verbal Abuse

This video has been medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

Types of Verbal Abuse

When someone is being verbally abused, the person attacking them may use overt forms of abuse like engaging in name-calling and making threats, but also more insidious methods like gaslighting or constantly correcting, interrupting, putting down, and demeaning them. Even prolonged silent treatment is a form of verbal abuse. When this happens, the person is attempting to control and punish the victim by refusing to talk to the other person.

For some people, especially those who either experience verbal abuse in the home or experienced it as a child, it can often be overlooked because the verbal assaults feel like a normal way to communicate. But they are anything but normal and can have lasting consequences.

Verbal abuse can take a number of different forms, including:

While not an exhaustive list, these are a few examples of the common types of verbal abuse that can occur.

Impact of Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse can impact every element of life, including academic performance, relationships, and success at work later in life. Just like any other form of abuse or bullying, verbal abuse has both short- and long-term consequences, including the following mental health problems:

When verbal abuse is particularly severe, it can impact whether or not people can see themselves as being successful in any area of life. Those who experience verbal abuse as children may experience feelings of worthlessness, difficulty trusting others, and problems regulating their emotions as adults.

A number of studies have shown that children who are verbally abused, either at home or by their peers at school, are at a greater risk for depression and anxiety as adults.

Signs of Verbal Abuse

When it comes to verbal abuse, victims often question whether or not what they are experiencing is truly abusive. They also wonder whether or not it is a big deal.

Here are some signs that a family member, friend, peer, or dating partner is verbally abusive.

The goal of the abuser is to control you by making you feel bad about who you are.

What to Do About Verbal Abuse

The first step in dealing with verbal abuse is to recognize the abuse. If you were able to identify any type of verbal abuse in your relationship, it’s important to acknowledge that first and foremost.

By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin to take steps to gain back control. While you need to consider your individual situation and circumstances, these tips can help if you find yourself in a verbally abusive relationship.

Set Boundaries

Firmly tell the verbally abusive person that they may no longer criticize, judge or shame you, name-call, threaten you, and so on. Then, tell them what will happen if they continue this abusive behavior.

For instance, tell them that if they scream or swear at you, the conversation will be over and you will leave the room. The key is to follow through; don’t set boundaries you have no intention of keeping.

Limit Exposures

If possible, take time away from the verbally abusive person and spend time with people who love and support you. Limiting exposure with the person can give you space to reevaluate your relationship. Surrounding yourself with a network of friends and family will help you feel less lonely and isolated and remind you of what a healthy relationship should look like.

End the Relationship

If there are no signs that the verbal abuse will end, or that the person has any intention of working on their behavior, you will likely need to take steps to end the relationship. Before doing so, share your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. You may also want to come up with a safety plan in case the abuse escalates when you break things off.

Seek Help

Healing from a verbally abusive relationship may not be something you can do on your own. Reach out to trusted loved ones for support, and consider talking to a therapist who can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping skills for dealing with the short- and long-term consequences of verbal abuse.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

A Word From Verywell

Although the effects of verbal abuse can be significant, there is still hope. Once a person becomes able to recognize verbal abuse in their lives, they can start making informed decisions about which friendships and dating relationships are healthy and which are toxic, fake, or abusive. They also can learn to stand up to verbal bullying.

Remember, verbal abuse doesn’t have to leave a lasting impact. With intervention, victims can overcome and cope with the bullying they have experienced.

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About Verbal Abuse

About Verbal Abuse

What Verbal Abuse Is

Verbal abuse includes withholding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, diverting, interrogating, accusing, blaming, blocking, countering, lying, berating, taunting, put downs, abuse disguised as a joke, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging.

Verbal Abuse and its Devastating Impact

Verbal Abuse is insidious.
Verbal Abuse is endemic.
Verbal Abuse impacts millions of people.
Verbal Abuse and its denial are crazy-making.
Verbal Abuse usually occurs in secret.

If you’ve heard, “You’re Too Sensitive,” you’ve heard verbal abuse.

Although many people have heard, sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt us, those who have suffered from verbal abuse know that words do hurt and can be as damaging as physical blows to the body. The scars from verbal assaults can last for years. These psychological scars leave people unsure of themselves, unable to recognize their true value, their talents and sometimes unable to adapt to life’s many challenges.

Except for cussing and swearing, many people don’t recognize verbal abuse, especially when it comes from a person they believe loves them or from a person they perceive as an authority figure or in a position of power.

Unfortunately, when people don’t recognize verbal abuse for what it is, they may try to get the person who is putting them down, giving them orders, or “correcting,” denouncing, yelling at or ignoring them to understand them. Or, they may try to stop the abuse by giving it back in kind.

The circumstances under which verbal abuse takes place make a real difference in how to respond to it. In the workplace, for instance, an appropriate response to a very abusive boss might be to prepare a resume or to contact the Human Resources department. On the other hand, a child can’t very well escape from an abusive parent and so we, the observers and relatives of the child, must be alert and ready to speak up for him or her. Keeping a record and letting others know what is going on are often good first steps.

Since, in the majority of cases, people who indulge in verbal abuse are abusive to someone close to them, friends and even family are surprised to hear that someone is experiencing on-going and periodic abuse from someone they know and have always seen as nice and friendly. “Nice and Friendly” is the persona of many an abuser. Although many folks are as nice and friendly as they seem, some are not.

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Verbal Abuse FAQ

Verbal Abuse FAQ

Reprinted with permission from iVillage.com

Here are some of the most commonly asked questions about verbal abuse with answers from Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond and Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out.

Is name-calling verbal abuse?

Yes! Name-calling is abusive because it says that you are BLANK, but actually you are a person. Batterers define their mates as objects. It isn’t healthy to be in the same room with a person who defines you, and it is harmful to children who witness it. They either see their survival threatened or they think it’s normal, or both.

This is what verbal abusers do. Verbal abusers almost universally act like nothing happened, like they feel fine and the relationship is fine. This is because they feel they have more control. Maybe they got you to back down, believe them or doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself then you might go with what they tell you, be more compliant and more slave-like. This makes them happy.

My husband’s counselor doesn’t think my husband’s abusive nature is all that bad, and doesn’t consider it domestic violence. Since when is breaking picture glass, slamming doors and breaking doorjambs not violent? I have the feeling they think it’s just a «communication problem,« and they are encouraging couples therapy. I said no way. What do you think?

The problem of finding a counselor who understands that verbal and physical abuse come from the same underlying control issues, and neither is justified, is difficult. Often counselors are trained to look for a ’cause (you) and effect (abuse)’ relationship. But you and your mate are not mechanical — therefore what you do doesn’t make him be abusive. If your relationship were mechanical, then when you push up like on a seesaw, he would be affected: he’d go down. But that’s not how it is. I refer therapists and counselors whom my readers have discovered and whom they refer on to me as “someone who understands abuse.” The easiest way to find one is to call my office — the number is 925-934-5972. This way I can tell you which towns I have a counselor in, and you can determine if this counselor is near you. Ultimately you have to meet first and see if this person seems right for you. Men who want to change do best in men’s programs referred by women’s shelters. This listing is in the back of my book, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out. Other information is here on this site.

I have been married only five months and have already realized I am married to a verbally abusive man. I want to leave, but can I walk away from a marriage of five months when I just took vows that said «… through good times and bad, sickness and health?« Isn’t this a sickness? But what about me?

He’s acting like some men commonly act once they “get” their partner. It’s so common, in fact, that it isn’t always seen as an “illness,” but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a “dis-ease.” One thing I’ve seen over the years is that starting a family usually increases the abuse a whole lot. So I don’t recommend it.

My husband’s abuse is the very quiet, insidious kind. He always finds a way to make me the problem. When he gets angry, he is enraged. There does not seem to be any degree between not being angry and rage. He has agreed to go a licensed therapist, but I have already reached a point of depression myself. The question is, what to do now? He has his first appointment this week with the counselor. Do I wait to see what she says? How long will it take before things are right? Will they ever be right?

The abuse you describe usually happens behind closed doors, so some people may not see the problem. I do. Most abusers present a “perfect” image to their therapist, admitting to a mistake or two, which they swear wouldn’t happen if only their wives would “whatever.” Also, most women don’t take to an abuser, sexually, once he shows his controlling side. Most who are abused are too traumatized to regain the level of trust necessary for physical intimacy. Please trust your intuition and take care.

No wonder you are depressed. You suffered from verbal abuse. Verbal abuse falls into many categories, including:

* Abusive anger: He would blow up at you.
* Criticizing: He made derogatory comments about your weight and figure.
* Name-calling: He called you a liar and a hypocrite.
* Threatening: He taunted you about his leaving and liking other women.
* Blaming: He told you his behavior was your fault.

And these categories are just to name a few. Battered women have always told me that the verbal abuse was the worst. So having experienced “worse than battering,” it will take time to recover. You can support your psyche in healing, but you can’t “make” your psyche heal any faster than it is supposed to. Just like you can’t make a cut heal faster than it takes a cut to heal. I see your posting your question as a courageous thing to do, and reaching out for support as a smart thing to do.

I have been married 21 years and have been seeing a counselor for a while. It took her a year before I could see that I was in an abusive relationship, and that my husband’s verbal abuse wasn’t «all my fault.« We separated last year, but we have three children. Was separation a good idea?

It sounds like separation is a positive step. You might feel lonely at first, but there won’t be anyone to call you names and give you orders, and that’s a real positive. Some men who’ve been abusive want to change to get their partners back. But it is a rare one who actually changes, and it can take him a long time.

After years of verbal abuse, the abuse turned physical when my partner tried to rape me. He has been in counseling, but now that he knows more about abuse, he accuses me of abusing him. His counselor told me he can change with time, therapy and will, but I don’t believe he wants to change. If he’s acting this way while he’s still on probation, I shudder to think how he’ll be when he no longer is. Am I just being paranoid? Can an abuser really change?

It sounds like he can’t really hear you. Sounds like he doesn’t get that his behavior (that got him into the courts) was extremely hurtful. Sounds like he is blaming his current aloneness on you rather than taking responsibility for the results of his action. Most abusers take years to change and most women aren’t turned on to anyone they’ve been afraid of, and that’s just the way it is. It’s a natural protective instinct. Women aren’t likely to want to have a child with a controller. It’s a commitment to a life either of pain and suffering, or divorce and possible difficulty with custody. I think that the instinct to stay away from an abuser is built into the survival of the human race and well worth attending to. Women ignore this instinct at their own risk — and sometimes put themselves at risk just to placate the person who has abused them.

Most women, and I’ve looked at around 20,000 cases of verbal abuse, don’t feel turned on by men who have abused them. Pure and simple. And they can’t make their body/psyche feel differently. Fear, even subliminal — like when your shoulders clench when he drives up — blocks passion. And waiting for the next explosion is what it’s about. Forgive and forget means nothing to the healing process of the psyche. In other words, a person’s spirit heals and feels safe and trusting in its own time. The honeymoon period is part of the cycle of abuse. Sounds like the quiet but irritated guy is going to get louder. So what if you’re not a house cleaner? If he’s a better one, then he might do it while you take the car in for a lube or write the checks and pay the bills! There’s no justification for abuse whatsoever. If someone pushed or shoved me, or called me names, I’d hope to find a way to never see them again. This may take years to accomplish, but abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time. And many women end up with stress-related illnesses. Can you think of many illnesses that are not stress related? Some guys hear their partners and make changes, and some don’t. Wish you only the best. Whatever way it goes, it goes to your health.

I know I’m being verbally abused, but I just can’t bring myself to leave. What’s wrong with me?

There are many reasons why it’s hard to go. People who suffer from frequent verbal abuse need plenty of support. If you have family or friends to go to, just get away and see what it’s like. Know that while you stay, you’re with the same mentality as a batterer. And physical abuse is always a possibility, but the emotional abuse is worse in the long run. You can lose your spirit. I recommend that you read all you can on getting away from batterers — and what they’re like — and see if you can find a support group at a local shelter. Abusers get worse over time and always blame the victim.

Have I brought this abuse on myself?

I’ve heard from so many thousands of women who have experienced verbal abuse that I sometimes forget how isolated each woman feels. “Can anyone else be dealing with this?” she wonders. She most often hears that she’s “too sensitive” or is “blowing everything out of proportion” or even “trying to start a fight.” I hope the online discussion, as well as my books on verbal abuse, help women see that these kinds of statements are, themselves, verbally abusive.

Can you help me, Patricia, to remove verbal abuse from my relationship?

Yes, I want to help. First, please don’t miss the articles and resources within this site. As you find out about verbal abuse, you can find out what is “wrong” with people who are verbally abusive, and what you might do about it. A phone consultation with me pulls it all together in just one hour. Please call 925-934-5972 for details.

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